The Importance of Knowing What Season You’re In

13957414_1021119508006291_550689597_nWhile in college my life was extremely busy. My schedule was packed. At one point I was working two jobs and taking 19 credit hours of class. For those of you who don’t know, that is the maximum amount of hours a college student can take. Not to mention, all the time I spent in a practice room practicing instruments or singing and doing homework. I had every hour of my day on a strict schedule and if I didn’t stick with it, I wouldn’t get homework done, or I would miss meals, or I wouldn’t get enough sleep, or I wouldn’t get to see my friends on the weekends, or I wouldn’t get to spend time with God. That amount of work was needed for that season. I had to buckle down and finish my degree. That was a season of hard work and a full schedule.

On the day of graduation, however, my season of life immediately changed. I didn’t need to work so hard anymore because I had accomplished my goal. I got my degree. It was such a strange feeling. I always felt like I should be doing something. I tried to fill my schedule with unnecessary work that I felt I should be doing. My plans to basically work myself to death always fell through because I didn’t recognize what season I was in, and God simply wouldn’t allow it. I was in a season of rest. A season where God wanted to take care of all my needs and not have me work for it. Not once did I take a moment to ask God what season I was in. It would’ve saved me a lot of trouble. I would get frustrated and stressed out when God wouldn’t allow me to work for all the things I wanted. In my logical mind it didn’t make sense how my needs would be taken care of. I was used to working hard and it’s very much in my personality to work hard and get things done and accomplish goals. No matter how hard I tried, my plans just did not match up with God’s plans. I planned to work myself to death with a schedule full of never ending tasks, while God planned for me to rest and not lift a finger because I had just come out of a season of busyness.

You see, when you don’t recognize what season you’re in, you will make plans and get upset, frustrated, discouraged, and even think that God isn’t answering your prayers because you’re trying to force your plan and idea of what season you should be in on your life when that was never something God had for you. Instead of getting angry and trying to conquer the world in one day and complaining, asking God “Why aren’t you on my side?!” Try asking Holy Spirit what season you’re in. Ask God what his plans for your life are. His ways and his plans for our lives are so much higher than our own. It’s quite possible that his plans and ways for your life are different than yours. Struggle comes when we don’t surrender.

We can make our plans,
    but the Lord determines our steps.  Proverbs 16:9

Each season has a purpose that will prepare you for the next. Currently, I’m still in a season of rest. I’m learning here and now that there will always be an opportunity to work hard and have a busy full schedule, but a moment of peace and rest is few and far between and must be fought for. Rest is so important that when the Lord created the earth, he took a whole day to rest and look back at what he had built.

There will be a time for everything. Take time to learn what season God has you in and enjoy it. Be present in the moment and stop worrying about tomorrow. God loves you and his plans are never to disappoint you, but to give you a better, brighter tomorrow.

 

xoxo,

Ndi

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Taking my purity ring off to have sex, then putting it back on when it’s over.

This blog is my very personal testimony of God’s grace and goodness in my life regarding my purity.

I’m sure some of you are wondering about the title of this blog. You’re probably thinking “Wow Ndi! I thought you were a Christian! I thought you were a worship leader! I never thought you would do anything like that!” Whoa whoa whoa. I want to make one thing clear. I am still all those things. I have never done anything like the title of my blog describes, however, this is what someone thought I did.

Let me explain. A couple years ago I was at a different job and it had come to my co-workers’ attention that I was wearing a ring on my ring finger. The ring was my purity ring which has written on it in tiny script “Love Waits”. My purity ring has been the center of many funny incidents, but those are stories for another time. Anyway, my co-workers began asking me so many questions about my ring. One guy in particular asked me specifically what my purity ring meant to me. I told him that it means I’ve made a promise to God to not have sex until marriage. To him that sounded so foreign and he could hardly believe me. He said “Are you sure you don’t just take it off before you have sex, then put it back on later???” Honestly, I thought it was kind of funny that he thought I did that. I said, “I’m sure.” Hearing me say this sparked even more curiosity and a girl co-worker asked, “So does that mean you’re…a virgin?” I could tell she felt awkward for asking but the curiosity was too much for her to handle. I didn’t feel awkward answering though. I simply said “Yes.”

This is what my actual purity ring looks like.

This is what my actual purity ring looks like.

Usually, I only share my testimony about purity with females unless asked direct questions from a guy. I mostly do that just to guard my heart because some guys get funny ideas after I share and look at me like I’m a sandwich. Haha! I felt as though the Holy Spirit really wanted me to encourage people today, men and women, young men and young women. I believe every testimony about purity is unique and can be used in God’s kingdom.

For me, I have seen God supernaturally protect my purity in so many ways since I was a young girl. And I will do my best to put your curiosities or questions to rest by showing you how. I have been in relationship with God since I was a very young child and distinctly remembering His presence leading and guiding me. When I was 10 years old in 6th grade, I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me, “I don’t want you to have a boyfriend until after you graduate high school”. I said yes to that. I agreed not to enter into a relationship until after high school. I also said yes to many other request God asked of me as I got older. I’m sure it seems crazy, but the Holy Spirit gave me the wisdom to make that decision at a young age and helped me understand why it was important. Fast forward to now, my senior year in college, and I still have never had a boyfriend. Some people think that is so bizarre, but if you want to know something especially peculiar, not only have I never had a boyfriend, I have never been kissed. I never have viewed pornography. I have never masturbated. I have never sent nude pictures of myself or have received nude pictures. The farthest I’ve ever gone with a guy is a hug. Haha! In the words of my older sister, I’m a “super virgin”. I don’t want anyone to think I’m extra holy just because I haven’t done any of these things. It is only by the grace of God that He has kept me pure. None of this happened by accident either. I don’t come from family that has a legacy of super virgins. I know that my life was perfectly orchestrated by God. He has supernaturally preserved my innocence. I had to trust Him though. Everyday I have to trust him. I have to trust that He knows what He’s doing, and that I’m not a freak of nature but His beautiful spotless bride. There have been several SEVERAL opportunities for me to just throw it all away and step ahead of God and say, “Lord, you don’t know what you’re doing! I need a boyfriend now! I have a disease and it’s called singleness!”. Haha! Even if I tried to step outside of God’s plan for my life regarding my purity, the Holy Spirit inside of me would be so grieved that I would literally be on my face crying out in repentance.

Last year around January 2013 I was in Thailand on a mission trip and my dear friend John LaChapelle was also on the trip with me. Each morning the team would spend time building each other up in the Lord, in whatever way that looked like. One morning it was John’s turn to choose what the team would do. He had spent that morning asking God what He wanted to say to each of us. He wrote notes out to each team member relaying what the Holy Spirit spoke to him for us. My note said something along the lines of “I see God placing an encampment of protection around you.” He quoted a scripture about Ruth and Boaz and how Boaz told the men not to touch her. John went on to say that God has done the same for me. What John didn’t know was that the night before I was up late rolling in bed feeling like a freak of nature again, crying God why me. The night before, my teammates shared their testimony about purity and mine looked nothing like theirs, so I was feeling like an outsider even among Christians. That night I was rolling around in bed complaining to God saying, “God why did you make me so darn pure?!? I feel silly!!” I was being a baby. Sometimes I do that. The next morning God gave me his answer through John LaChapelle because I obviously wasn’t listening. It’s because all this time, He’s been protecting me. He put a “do not touch” sign on my head to protect me from random meaningless relationships with guys who had no purpose in my life.

My testimony is not the same as everyone else’s nor is it better. I know some people can relate to me though. Some of you have been reading this saying “That’s me!”. You don’t have to feel like you’re left out. Count your purity as a blessing. I want to encourage all the super virgins out there or even the technical virgins or Christians who have already had premarital sex. Me saying yes to God as a young girl came with a high price. I was often made fun of by Christians and non-Christians, pressured, and the butt of many jokes and sometimes still am. At times I felt as if there was something wrong with me, but that’s not true. I’m perfectly normal. I have to submit my desires to God everyday and choose to say yes even though I want to say no sometimes to His plan. If you want to experience God’s purity in your life, you need to count the cost before you say yes. There will be sacrifices that He will require of you, but His plans are so much better and sweeter than ours are. They give a greater reward.

“16 That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. 17 For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! 18 So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Fix your eyes on Him. We only see in part but God sees in whole. He knows how much our decisions will affect us today and tomorrow. That’s why He is worthy of our trust. He loves us. His plans are to protect us and give us life more abundantly. The devil HATES purity. He hates it so much it makes him cringe. He will do everything in his power to defile it and use anyone available to do it. Do you know why? Because our purity means we are without blame. Satan is called the accuser and goes before God accusing God’s children of all the wrong we’ve done, so that he has the chance to bring destruction in our lives. If we are living in purity, He has nothing on us! It was because of Jesus, our very own spotless Lamb, that by his purity we were brought out of a life of death and decay and reconciled to God. It was by Jesus’ purity that were given salvation! Jesus was a virgin!! A super virgin!! I don’t know about you but that makes me extremely happy and excited!! I want to be like Jesus!! I don’t care if I get made fun of for being a super virgin. The King of Kings and Lord of Lords is a super virgin and He is sitting on the throne and is reigning and those people making fun of me are not.

If you have been living in guilt and shame for past decisions you have made or decisions others have made against your will, God wants to bring healing and freedom to your life right now. You need to forgive yourself of your mistakes and the mistakes of others. The accuser will condemn you and make you feel guilt for your past so that you can’t move forward in your calling. Paul in the Bible brutally murdered hundreds of Christians, but once he gave his life to Christ. This is what he said.

“12 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:12-14

He couldn’t allow his past to hold him back. In Christ all things are made new. Even if you messed up just this morning, God makes all things new. Satan doesn’t want you to move on or realize what you have available to you. When we repent and I mean truly repent and turn from our old life and old way of thinking, God promises forgiveness. When He looks at us He doesn’t see our sin anymore, but the righteousness of Christ. I’m not pure because of anything that I’ve done, but because Christ clothes me in His purity and righteousness. He can do the same for you and bring restoration for your life. We can rejoice because our shame is removed and though we’re undeserving we’ve been chosen as Christ’s bride and given his robes of righteousness. In Christ there is freedom.

“10 I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God! For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped me in a robe of righteousness. I am like a bridegroom in his wedding suit or a bride with her jewels.” Isaiah 61:10 “

Rejoice in knowing that the King of King chose you and has made you His spotless bride! I love you! Be encouraged!

xoxo,

Ndi

Awkward Moment of the Week: Weird Nigerian Girl

So this week’s awkward moment award goes to this story. 

I’m a music major and sometimes I saw this guy I didn’t know in the music building. Even though I didn’t know him I would say hi just  because I saw him so often. That’s what I do with anyone I see a lot but don’t know. So one day this week as I’m getting off work, I start walking towards the back of the music building and I see him sitting on a bench listening to music. As I’m approaching he looks like he’s laughing at something. I smile and say hi. At this point I still haven’t actually met him. He takes out one of his earbuds still kind of laughing and says “Hi. What’s your name?” I tell him my name and he’s still kind of laughing and says, “I saw a video of you dancing on Facebook through one of our mutual friends.” At first I was thinking to myself, “Dancing??? Is he sure that was me??” Then I remembered. I made a video of me dancing to Ibibio (a Nigerian language) praise music and speaking in Ibibio. Hahaha! I was being really silly and making all sorts of weird faces and doing dances that my dad does. Haha well…..now he’s seen a glimpse of how weird I am. Dang it! Now I can’t even pretend to be normal. Now I know why he was laughing. What a great introduction. 

 

xoxo,

Ndi

Awkward Moment of the Week #3: Kissy Kissy

Kissy Kissy

Kissy Kissy

So my awkward moment this week goes along perfectly with Valentine’s Day. It’s like it was a set up. Love can be awkward, or sometimes even just liking someone. Sometimes it’s just friends that are awkward. 

This past week I was working on a project for one of my classes with a classmate. His name is Alex. It was just Alex and I alone in this room working on this project. I’ve known him for a couple years, so I wasn’t really uncomfortable. Alex is also a really touchy person. He loves hugging people. I don’t really mind because I love hugs too. Anyways, Alex wasn’t really concentrating on our homework and started talking about his love life. He likes a girl who doesn’t feel the same way about him. He said, “Ndi, do you ever feel like you can never have the person you want, but you can have the people you don’t want?” I was barely paying attention to him and said, “I guess so.” He just looked at me like “Come on!!” Last semester I had mentioned that there was a guy that I liked but he just didn’t like me back. It was the same as his situation. So he said, “Take for example, you could tell Collin (another one of our classmates) that you wanted to be with him and you could have him in a heartbeat. You could tell me you wanted to be together, give me a lollipop, and you’d have me. But you can’t have that guy that you liked.” At this point he’s got my attention and I’m smirking and thinking to myself, “Well I know I can’t have him. Thanks for pointing that out again.” I just reminded him that sometimes God protects us from a relationship because He’s got something better for us. Then Alex says “You know, Will (another one of our classmates) seriously thought we were about to date at one point.” In my head, my eyes got really big and I was like “What in the world?!?!?” But on the outside I remained calm and just said “Really?….” Hahaha I had no words. I didn’t know what else to say. Alex and I are in no way compatible. I mentioned how I missed Will and Alex threw his arms around me and said, “I miss him too, but I’m so glad we’re friends, Ndi.” 

Haha I want everyone to get a clear picture of this. I’m sitting in a chair facing forward. Alex is sitting to the right of me and has his arms around me and is facing my direction. After he said “I’m so glad we’re friends, Ndi”, out of the corner of my eyes I see his face moving closer to mine but then backing away and then getting closer again and backing away again. I turned to him and said, “What are you doing?” He said “Well I was going to kiss you on your cheek, but I guess that would’ve been awkward. Did I save myself?? Tell me I saved myself, Ndi!!” And I’m just like “Sure…. You saved yourself, Alex.” I was just like, what in the world??? Hahaha. At that point I was like okay….I’m done doing homework alone with you. It’s time to go. My cheeks are reserved for family and old people that think I’m cute!

Warning: All names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent. 😉

I hope this made you smile. 🙂

jpeg

xoxo,
Ndi

Awkward Moment of the Week

Can I be honest with you guys? My life is full of awkward hilarious moments. I will prove it to you all by repeating these embarrassing stories to you once a week. Besides, I know you guys like reading these because you like to creep on my life. That’s why you’re reading my blog right now. At least I hope someone likes to creep on me and is interested in my life….anyway! 

Awkward Moment:

This happened just yesterday. As most of you know, I’m a college student. I have my own private room on campus in an all girls’ dorm. Last night at around 6:30 pm I was eating my dinner that I had taken from the cafeteria to my room. But then, something awful happened……I. GOT. THIRSTY. I’m sure some of you are like “Ndi, that’s normal when you’re eating.” But here’s where things got increasingly awkward. There was no water in my room, but there was a water fountain right outside my door. Ahem..and I don’t know about anyone else but when I get home, I want to get comfortable. So what did I do? I, uh, how do you say? Took my pants off. However, the shirt I was wearing yesterday was pretty long and it kind of looked like a short dress…like a really short dress. 

So I don’t know if you can read my mind at this point, but I was getting desperately thirsty and desperate situations make me do ridiculous things. And I DID NOT want to put those pants back on. I mean, I had just gotten comfortable. Sometimes guys walk through my dorm, but it really isn’t often that I see them. So I thought to myself, “Maybe I can make it to the water fountain, fill my cup with water, and no one will see me.” So I poked my head out of my door, like a cartoon character, and looked down the hallway only to find it was empty. And of course I’m thinking “Yes!!! Victory is mine!! The Lord loves me and He knows I don’t love pants!!” So I run out there to the water fountain with my huge cup looking quite ridiculous, might I add. I’m thinking, “Come on!! Can’t this water fountain spit out this water any faster??” And probably, not even 10 seconds after I start filling my cup, a girl who is a CA at my dorm starts walking down my long hallway. I can see her making funny faces from far away and she says hello. I say hi with my eyes big and shifty. I was just hoping somehow she didn’t notice how ridiculous I looked…which is the dumbest thing to hope for since I can’t make myself invisible and she still had eyes. 

I went back in my room thinking “Dang, it. I thought I could make it.” Hahaha. I don’t know why I did it. Maybe I like the rush of trying not to get caught. This awkward moment I definitely brought upon myself.

I actually did this same thing last semester except my neighbor came out and was leaving her dorm and saw me. She made this horrified disgusted face at me and left as fast as she could. I could not stop laughing later. Hahahaha! It really wasn’t that bad. She was weird anyway.. Oh well. I guess the past is in the past, isn’t it? 🙂

xoxo, 

Ndi